A Year in The Making

It's the second last day of the year, the 30th of December. I find myself contemplating getting loads of things done today, tomorrow, and the days beyond. It's not the pressure of 'new beginnings' or any sort of resolution for me; change can begin at any point, and any morning can be the first of many. The song by Billy Joel, "Vienna," often comes to mind whenever I get overwhelmed with the things I'm supposed to achieve - I guess most of us can relate to that song. I often long for lazy days where I do not have to care about deadlines or what’s next on my list of accomplishments, but those days never seem to arrive. I think I used to be a self-improvement junkie, but now I genuinely have an interest in and am ready to put in the work that's required. Winter, with its ability to steal away hours, makes me less productive. I wonder if it's the shorter daylight hours, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), or both. Although spirits are generally high, the last few days have been a bit challenging. It works, but now I need more reminders to keep my head high. I try not to pretend – I'm just hopeful and believe there are things, albeit very few, that I can control.

This year was, well, meh! I don't even know how quickly it appeared and then disappeared. It feels like a lot of things happened, yet at the same time, they didn't. Nonetheless, I have to admit there were some interesting things that happened. For instance, I discovered my love for political thriller books, moved places, faced workplace challenges, handled more demanding tasks, met new folks, made new friends, attempted to be more vulnerable and get out of my comfort zone, and worked on self-development. Unfortunately, a lot of time was still spent in my comfort zone.

There were some realizations made throughout the year. A few of the notable ones are:

• The importance of mental health and its control over physical well-being.

• You’re in control of the things that you can control, not how others act or how the world functions.

• Any change you wish for starts with you.

• Personal development is a journey, not an endpoint.

• However hard it gets or how challenging it might be, you have to work and overcome your shortcomings.

• You can reach out to friends and family – there's no shame in that.

• Being vulnerable isn't a sign of weakness.

• We're all figuring out ourselves and other things, even when it appears otherwise, and it's okay because it's a journey where you keep rediscovering yourself.

I want to mention some amazing things I did for pleasure, from books to podcasts to movies. More than half of the total books I listened to this year were self-help books – some had the same old advice while others opened new perspectives. "The Comfort Crisis" was one of them, inspiring me to get uncomfortable and adopt a mindset of "Do Hard Things" every day. It discusses how much we have 'changed' with the rise of industrialization and now with technology – mostly bad things, as we’re already aware of the good, aren't we? Well, nobody advertises something with its flaws, so that makes sense. However, if it impacts humanity as a whole, we should be talking about those things more. I couldn't engage much with podcasts this year, but one that stuck with me was the ZOE Science & Nutrition Podcast. It offers insightful information on topics ranging from health to exercise and highlights how government guidelines are often outdated. The best movie I watched in 2024? It has to be "Memento" – I know I’m late to the party, but boy oh boy, was it a masterpiece! It blew my mind with its storyline, character development, and cinematography – pure cinema.

As I mentioned earlier, this year was challenging – both at work and in my personal life. I had to navigate tough times with hope in my heart. I struggled with the demanding workload and its impact on my health for a large part of 2024. The stress took a toll not just on me but also on my behavior towards others, from impatience to getting easily irritated. Reflecting on this, I realize my colleagues put up with me and, in a way, helped me navigate those times. Though indirect, I could sense their frustration with me, making it challenging to work with me. Looking back, I’m grateful for their support in their own ways – I kind of feel sorry for them that they still have to do that unpleasant work. Yes, I was moved to a different role that I had been desiring for quite some time. This transition happened because I had become impatient as my current work wasn't challenging at all – it required someone who can work, that’s all, no brainstorming or new ideas. I hated that role, but I was the best at it; I put all efforts into whatever I do.

And then there is the news, from wars to a convict getting elected as the president of a nation the whole world looks up to – I had been surrounded by 'bad' news. I also struggled on and off with body image issues, realizing down the road that there are far more important things I have to offer than my looks. It's a journey, of course, a constant effort to keep your head high and feel comfortable in your skin. I'm far more comfortable in my skin now, and it's not just about looks but what's inside. Your perception of your looks or what's external reflects what's inside, and that requires work. I had to put in a lot of work and still am doing so, and I know it will continue along with the journey of never-ending self-improvement. When you put lots of effort into something, the natural tendency is to expect results. Sometimes good things take time. Patience can be excruciating, especially when you struggle to find anything else to focus your mind on. Progress might also look very slow, and that's somehow the fun part about it – you take tiny little steps that might be hard to notice, but they are there, and you know it.

I know I mentioned it was a meh year, but now that I reflect back, I think I did accomplish a lot of things – we’re wired to think of accomplishments and success as materialistic things. However, what I achieved this year was way more than that, and I know this is just the beginning. I'm proud of the work I put in and how much further I am from where I was not so long ago.

The time that really moved me was late 2024 – I met new folks, made new friends, and made changes in my life for the better. In the shadows of despair, I have faced the weight of sorrow. Yet, with every fall, I have risen stronger. I have confronted my fears head-on, embraced vulnerability, and taken courageous steps towards a brighter tomorrow. I look forward to another tomorrow, one filled with even greater challenges and fulfillment. As Billy Joel's "Vienna" reminds us, "You can't be everything you wanna be before your time," but this year has taught me that every step, no matter how small, is a part of the journey. Here’s to another year of growth, challenges, and victories!