And We Keep Learning and Growing

"Change is the only constant." - Heraclitus

Years ago I had read a book which was about the past, present and future—mainly about the past. It had a beautiful line which read somewhat like "everyday we're constantly growing, some days at a very minute level that we may not recognize but we are, nonetheless". This phrase really helped me navigate through many of the challenges in life. It's beautiful, it gives you a sense of 'achievement', and rightly so. You are indeed constantly growing even when you aren't 'actively' doing anything. This isn't to be confused with not actually achieving or working for your goals and dreams, and stay in your comfort zone being content that you're already achieving 'something', but to recognize the fact that we are not stagnant beings, we change at every minute at many levels—from the atom that makes up our cells to the huge embodiment of bones and muscles and brains and flesh.

The Self-Esteem Crisis

I recently read an article in Psyche Magazine about the crisis of self-esteem; how everyone can potentially vision themselves as a successful person—billionaire or a millionaire, a business tycoon or anything that classifies themselves as a 'successful' person. The world indeed offers seemingly limitless possibilities, and anyone can dream of achieving them. We have come so far, to give everyone a fair chance or so we are made to believe. The same belief also makes us feel miserable when we do not achieve those heights, or fall shorter. This is particularly prominent in men, as societal expectations often place greater emphasis on their achievements, a notion that is arguably selective and potentially sexist. It is very hard not to see others as someone we need to be better than; this could be in terms of looks or other materialistic ways.

The idea is that you have to measure yourself with some metrics and those come from the values you have encompassed in your life. Many of our values are either imposed upon us or are influenced by external factors. The latter is not a problem until we no longer have any say in our values or the outside forces dominate them so much that we forget what matters to us and start focusing on what would matter to someone else—the idea of becoming something others want me to rather than being someone I want myself to be.

Opportunities Do Not Arrive

Have you ever waited for something to happen in your life and it never did? That's because life is about embracing opportunities and seizing chances. Good things perhaps take time, but they do not come to your footsteps directly but in the form of opportunities and chances. Not all opportunities arrive to you; often you have to put yourself in a position for more opportunities to occur. Waiting for something to happen is not only a waste of time but emotionally exhausting—you're giving control to external forces instead of taking control of the situation yourself.

Tough Times Aren't Going Anywhere

Life has always been challenging at any time in history. Everyone has problems, no one's life is perfect; it's important not to believe the facade that others present when they only showcase their best parts. The problem is, the media tends to only showcase the best moments of someone's life while mostly ignoring the instances where they were facing challenges in their life. Most people would likely relate to and be inspired by seeing others overcome challenges, rather than just witnessing their successes, which doesn't always have a positive effect.

I recently read Maria Sharapova's biography where she speaks of her life and the challenges she faced on her way to glory—at some point they only had 700 dollars in total; a place to eat and sleep that was so poor; she had torn her right shoulder tendon, which usually ends people's career. She didn't become a star and achieved it all easily, there were lots of ups and downs.

The Only Constant in Us is Change Itself

I used to consume books through audiobooks until one day I picked up a physical book and found the experience to be richer. Not only could I absorb the information more effectively, but I also discovered I was a quick reader. I had always limited myself with the belief that I couldn't read. While this stemmed from multiple failed attempts in the past, in hindsight, I might not have tried hard enough, and to be honest, I didn't even try for years. I'm not sure what led to the increase in my ability to focus and absorb the information before me; mindfulness perhaps? I thought I'd always listen to audiobooks but now all I wish to do is read.

I hated pop, now it's the most listened to genre; I didn't like the gym and thought weights weren't necessary but that changed when I stepped in the gym and started noticing how much strength I'd gained. I used to have very conservative opinions about women, love and sex, that changed to more liberal and intersectional opinions.

I have been trying to stay more open to new experiences and trying them out as much as possible, with being mindful of my surroundings and abilities. Constant challenges can open many doors to experience you never thought you'd get acquainted with. You either seek the new challenges and experiences or get pushed to do so, or both. Either way, things will change for better or worse. I am a lot of things I wasn't times ago, or yesterday or a few minutes ago. I won't stay how I am right now and that somehow is the beauty of being human where the present is what exists and matters.

Think back for a moment to the challenges you've faced. How have those tough times ultimately contributed to your growth and changed you for the better?

Life's journey is one of constant transformation. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your growth, and remember that every experience, good or bad, contributes to who you are.